Dear Diary,
Today, the chat came in as one of those normal ones but the follow up message triggered a word I have never thought of for a long, long time. The kind that sits heavy on your chest long after the workday ends.
This morning, my manager sent an update to the team. She wants to be copied on all email anyone in the team is sending. Not just a few but every one. And every meeting we’re setting up? She wants to be in the loop. Every invite. Every step.
I read the message twice. I didn’t quite get it.
Not out of rebellion. Not out of ego.
But because it feels like we’ve stopped being trusted. It feels like we have not been working at all.
Before now, she already had a rule: “No proposal or MoU should leave our desks without my review.” Well, I understood this part. But emails? Meetings? This is another level entirely!
I understand leadership. I respect oversight.
But Diary, this doesn’t feel like oversight.
It feels like a leash has just been strung. And it’s tightening, well, not yet though. Maybe from the new week.
Micro-management does not do anyone any good. It instills lack of confidence and initiative on the long run.
It hurts.
Not because of the rules. But because of what the rules are saying without saying it: “I don’t trust you enough.”
And when trust disappears, so does creativity. So does confidence. So does joy. We will always look beyond our shoulders before we type he next line of words or press that send button!
We just want to feel trusted again. To breathe. To do our best work without someone standing over our shoulder, questioning every step before we take it.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
But today?
Today, we felt small.